At some point in the twists and turns of life with a moustache, one realizes that it’s a bit lonely being this hairy all by yourself. Sometimes it’s nice to have a companion, a friend – a bit of encouragement as you look down condescendingly upon bare-faced mortals.

Thus, I encourage everyone who embraces our dynamic and sometimes dangerous lifestyle to get a canine of the proper status befitting our kind…loyal, intelligent, and possessing a bark that will make fake moustaches fall off at 20 meters.

My own preference is for the German Shepherd Dog. It is a noble breed with all of the characteristics listed above, as well as a remarkable sense of humour and a jaw strength exceeding that of a pit bull. More than that, my young pup (only 8 months old in this picture) has better table manners than I do.