Our top-secret undercover embedded correspondent managed to capture photographic evidence of one Val L, sporting a moustache and shades. This, gentlemen, is an unexpected development. Through extensive scientific research, the American Moustache Institute has proven that Moustached Americans are exactly 38% better looking than our clean-shaven countrymen. However, their research did not include any variables for the female gender, clean-shaven or not.
Terrifying, I know. After all, moustaches are one of the few things remaining that are exclusive to the male gender (yes, I know…with a few exceptions). Until we raise the funds needed for further scientific research and self-defense lessons, I suggest the following. Number one, if you see a woman with a larger moustache than yours, run away. Number two, if your moustache is comparable, you’d better test hers to see if it’s real. Extensive forensic study on the above image has resulted in the astonishing revelation that her moustache may actually be suspended from her sunglasses.
