Ah yes, Easter. The day that rabbits excrete multi-colored eggs for Jesus! The entire holiday, at least in the non-religious American tradition, has become somewhat dadaist. So why shouldn’t the Easter Bunny wear a fine moustache?
Image found without artist credits via Google Image Search. If you know who made this, let me know and I’ll add a credit.
On receiving news of your Fearless Leader’s impending offspring, one of my good friends acquired Stachifiers in varying styles, which will prove useful regardless of the child’s gender!*
*Yes, the company is currently being petitioned to spell ‘Moustachifier’ correctly.
It’s well known that your humble narrator’s genetic makeup lends itself to the notion that my hairy ancestors drank large quantities of beer and whisky on small islands in close proximity to Britain. Thus, I can say without bias that the Irish are a grand race of people with excellent taste in spirited beverages, unique methods of ridding their country of snakes, and a long history of fine facial hair. One good example is St. Patrick himself, and others such as James Joyce and Bram Stoker will be the subject of future articles.
Regardless of your ancestry, it’s a good day to enjoy a pint and reflect on all that the Irish have done for the world. And with that, my friends, I’m off to find my kilt, some Guinness, and a bottle of whiskey. It’s morning here, but there is much to be done!
Yes, it’s true. I have the most incredible friends. When Ian handed me this t-shirt, I simply stared at it slack-jawed for about 5 minutes, astonished at the brilliance of it all. I mean, look at it! The combination of Ron Swanson with black metal is simply epic. It’s like wrapping your steak with bacon. It’s just smart.
Credit goes to Metal Jeff of Reno, NV. You can buy ’em here.
I can find very little on Herman Haas, other than a brief mention in an old issue of Life, which essentially echoes the clipping below regarding his renown for animal photography. However, it is indisputable that the man had a moustache!
From one of our correspondents in the field:
Cut the crap.
Here’s the deal good sir- this here video is, in purpose, an advertisement for an Argentinean film festival. The subject matter, relevant to the purpose behind this email, deals in the specifics of the difficult to pin down, intangible, and possibly illusory sensations of what it is like to have a mustache. Ok, that’s it.Reginald G.
c/o Gufterson Crematorium- Half off on most burn victims until midnight Dec 31st.
Obviously, Southern Comfort and their ad agency completely understands their demographic. This, my friends, is the way of our people:
Frequent readers of this site will be familiar with your Fearless Leader’s predilection for dangerous machinery of the two-wheeled variety. Moustached American Kerry McLean takes this to an entirely amazing level with his custom-fabricated monocycles. In addition, the man is a damn fine piano player.
All text by Asa Gilmore unless otherwise noted. All other materials are copyright by their respective owners, and attribution has been given where possible. If your work appears on this site and you would like to have it removed or have the attribution changed, please contact us and we will be happy to oblige.
