Grover Cleveland (March 18, 1837 – June 24, 1908) was one of the few US Presidents to sport a respectable moustache. With our current media frenzy surrounding the election, it is incumbent upon Moustached Americans to encourage their candidate to grow facial hair. No matter who you blame for our country’s woes, it is God’s own truth that it was caused by clean-shaven individuals.
But I digress. Back to President Cleveland. He was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms. This is an important note in his legacy, as our current president is the 44th – a number that can only be reached by counting Cleveland twice. Once for each end of the moustache, dear reader.
Another distinguishing feature of Cleveland’s presidency was his involvement with (and eventual leadership of) the Bourbon Democrats, a movement which would undoubtedly clash with the modern Democratic party both in politics and choice of beverage. Personally, I long for the day when political ideals shall again be conveyed by the candidate’s favored drink.
Cleveland was a man of considerable principles, inspiring respect in both political allies and foes. His biographer’s quote is a telling testament to moustached integrity: “…in Grover Cleveland the greatness lies in typical rather than unusual qualities. He had no endowments that thousands of men do not have. He possessed honesty, courage, firmness, independence, and common sense. But he possessed them to a degree other men do not.”
Cleveland’s background is consistent with this analysis. He served as Sheriff of Erie County and personally hung two convicted murderers. He went on to serve as the Mayor of Buffalo and Governor of New York before running for president. He had a deserved reputation as an opponent of corruption and a man of principle.
As any political candidate will tell you, scandals frequently affect their careers. Our protagonist was not immune, and had a noted predeliction for the fairer sex. Grover was a lover, not a fighter – in fact, he payed a Polish immigrant to serve in his stead in the Civil War (a common and legal practice at the time). During his first election campaign, his opponents tried to tarnish his reputation by publishing evidence of an illegitimate child.
Grover, responding in the noble manner by which our kind is known, instructed his campaign staff to “Tell the Truth.” Because of this, we know that the child’s mother was involved with several men at the time. In spite of uncertainty regarding the infant’s patricial affiliation, Grover (the only bachelor among her suitors) assumed responsibility and payed child support. His opponent’s rallying cry “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?” was soon answered at rallies by “Gone to the White House. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
The attraction of women to Cleveland’s moustache continued into his presidency. Although he entered the White House as a bachelor, he soon married the daughter of a deceased friend. He was the only president to have a wedding in the White House, and his wife became the youngest-ever First Lady at the tender age of 21. He was 49. They had five children and remained happily married.
Cleveland’s long political career could fill several volumes. He would be a unique character in the modern political environment. A Democrat who campaigned for the gold standard and limited government but opposed women’s suffrage would not be well received today. However, his last words in life are ones which would be welcome to hear from any politician: “I have tried so hard to do right.” Let us hope that a return to facial hair in modern politics will bring forth similar efforts.
